Well, there goes one option of creating T-Shirts to promote these Rantz:

"Content that glamorize the use of 'hard core' illegal substance and drugs such as a person injecting a vial of a substance in their body."

¶ 19:24 0 Comments

“I have no skeletons in my closet; the bones are all bleaching down at the beach.”

-- Kinky Friedman

¶ 15:31 0 Comments

The lawn, having been mowed by another, I have now raked and put its clippings into the compost bin. Another two strawberries have been lost to the ever hungry snails. I must get a bottle of beer and upend into a few containers around the garden - drunk snails don't eat much.

¶ 15:14 0 Comments

Thanks to dangerous ideas from a working brain, I had the displeasure to read Annie's plight. Go there - read it and be wary of calling spades shovels but call them shovels anyway.

Which, with great relief to myself and probably a dissapointment to the powers that be, is eaxactly what Annie is doing as noted in point seven:

7.     In spite of what happened to me, I will not lock any political posts I make, nor will I stop making political posts. This is important. I will not allow any form of government to make me afraid of voicing my own opinion. The way that I voice my opinion will certainly be impacted by what happened, but I will not stop talking altogether. And neither should you. I don't want to discourage my friends from speaking their minds. I simply want to tell y'all that you have to be ridiculously careful about how you do it, because otherwise, you can get into trouble.

BTW, did you know that the Secret Service have a pact with the Boys and Girls Club of America

¶ 12:29 1 Comments

The 7 Great Lies of Organised Religion

1. God is huge and unapproachable, and He wants you to labor, struggle and live in guilt.
2. If you live a moral life, deny yourself pleasure, follow the prescribed rituals and give us enough money, you'll have a decent shot at being accepted by God.

The first lie, presented yesterday, is now the second lie. Tomorrow, the second lie will be today's first lie, the third lie will be today's second and the first will be new. The day after tomorrow {snipped for brevity }.

¶ 10:22 1 Comments

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring.

He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:

1. you have to be single, and
2. you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic!"

"OK" the Nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The Nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

¶ 22:53 0 Comments

"But somewhere Osama is smiling, more influential and powerful than ever. Surely that counts for something."

¶ 18:40 1 Comments

"Will it be overcome by the hardliners such as Hamas or the intellectuals such as Hanan Ashrawi? Ideally, I believe, the future lies in the hands of those who speak words easily digestible by the West rather than the fear-mongering of the so-called Terrorists."

¶ 18:13 0 Comments

Conservative Christians also need to remember that it is not up to them to judge the thoughts of another person, that is God’s job.

¶ 18:00 0 Comments

The 7 Great Lies of Organised Religion

1. If you live a moral life, deny yourself pleasure, follow the prescribed rituals and give us enough money, you'll have a decent shot at being accepted by God.

¶ 11:18 0 Comments

"My daddy killed me with a butcher knife," Anthony said.: My, my, my. Kristine, the call center staff who answered Anthony's plea for help said that she would now like to meet Anthony said, "I want to tell him how amazing he is, I don't think he knows that."
Can you tell him for me too, please?

You can also read the sotry in PDF format here if you can't access the file@SMH.com.ay

¶ 13:23 0 Comments

Canadian Mind Products: "CMP's purpose is to stand up for the rights of plants and animals*.

---

  ¶ 12:44 0 Comments

100 Facts and 1 Opinion*: The Non-Arguable Case Against the Bush Administration

-- by Judd Legum

---

*Opinion: "If the past informs the future, four more years of the Bush Administration will be a tragic period in the history of the United States and the world."

¶ 08:39 0 Comments

Poor, poor, George fan's outside of the US of A amd Canada just can't access his madness. That's a good thing, no?

¶ 07:27 0 Comments

"We are returning her to our agent Shara who will offer her a new job with another employer."

---

May they live in interesting times.

¶ 15:54 0 Comments

So, your religion is okay but his sucks, does it?

That this sub-Nietzschean, quasi-Nazi rubbish should be tolerated, much less encouraged, by the Royal Navy simply beggars belief.

Religious tolerance seems to only tolerate those religions liked by the religiuos zealouts. Get's one down, no?

¶ 08:47 0 Comments

• on Iraq
• on the Economy
• on Health Care
• for Women
• on Education
• on Homeland Security
• on Energy
• on Civil Rights
• on the Environment

¶ 13:51 0 Comments

When I first read this headline I had a miscommunication understanding that equated midges with midgets: "Warning on biting midges"

I recall those Darwin midgets well, particularly in the magnificent garden of the beautiful house on the watery road in Rapid Creek. The bites were worth the beauty of the place - the same can't be said for the bites of the mozzies.

¶ 08:31 1 Comments

One woman's quest to enjoy her dinner without guilt: "Under the pressure to equate values with actions, even what's on the dinner plate can be an accusing presence."

¶ 08:21 0 Comments

"This a drop in the ocean compared to what is spend at the commonwealth level by the Howard government who spend an enormous amount on media monitoring,' he [Bracksie] said at Melbourne airport.

¶ 16:52 0 Comments

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.....

Katherine Dawn L. on the CD, ceiling fans on setting (2), incense in the air - almost time for the repeat of last night's Phillip.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.....

¶ 15:05 0 Comments

ENGR.PAUL WILLIAMS.
PHONE:234-805-213-2945
LAGOS NIGERIA.

HELLO,
RE:TRANSFER OF US$28.6 AMERICAN DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

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WE ARE LEFT WITH THE BALANCE OF US$28.6M AS THE OVER INVOICED AMOUNT
WHICH WE HAVE DELIBERATELY OVER ESTIMATED FOR OUR OWN USE BUT UNDER THE
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1. 30% FOR YOU (ACCOUNT OWNER)
2. 60% FOR US
3. 10% FOR EXPENSES THAT MIGHT ARISE.

AS YOU MAY WANT TO KNOW AND TO MAKE YOU LESS CURIOUS, I GOT YOUR
ADDRESS FROM OUR REPUTABLE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY AND I AM THE EXECUTIVE CHAIRMAN
OF THE CONTRACT AWARD COMMITTEE OF THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC).
THE TRANSACTION IS VERY MUCH FREE FROM ALL SORT OF RISK HENCE THE
BUSINESS WAS CAREFULLY PLANNED BEFORE IT WAS EXECUTED AND WE THE N.N.P.C. OFFICALS INVOLVED
IN THE DEAL HAVE PUT MANY YEARS IN SERVICES TO OUR MINISTRY.
WE HAVE BEEN EXERCISING PATIENCE FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY FOR SO LONG
AND TO MOST OF US, THIS IS A LIFE TIME OPPORTUNITY WE CANNOT AFFORD TO
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TO GET THIS FUND PAID INTO YOUR ACCOUNT, WE HAVE TO PRESENT AN
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1. YOUR BANKER?S NAME AND ADDRESS.
2. YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND ROTINE CODE NUMBER IF ANY.
3. THE BANK TELEPHONE, FAX AND TELEX NUMBERS.
4. THE NAME OF BENEFICIATY OF THE ACCOUNT.
5. YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR EASY COMMMUNICATION.
6.YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.

THIS INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US SEEK APPROVAL OF THE FUND FROM THE
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ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES AND I INVOLVED IN THIS DEAL WILL COME TO YOUR
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ALL THIS WILL ONLY TAKE US ABOUT 7 WORKING DAYS TO TRANSFER THIS
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LET HONESTY AND TRUST BE OUR WATCHWORD THROUGHOUT THIS TRANSACTION.
I SHALL FURNISH YOU WITH SOME DETAILS ABOUT MYSELF. YOUR PROMPT
REPLY WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED.

BEST REGARDS.
ENGR.PAUL WILLIAMS.

¶ 19:57 2 Comments

"Here is a bit of optimism for your Friday! I also think if John Ashcroft needs a new job in a couple of weeks he could be like the new Alan Funt on an all new 'Candid Camera' show."

¶ 19:08 0 Comments

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¶ 18:17 0 Comments

Free Way Blogging

Rumsfail (rums´f?l), v., 1. To self-destruct, melt-down or implode under the weight of one's own arrogance. 2. To fail spectacularly, particularly in matters of warfare or diplomacy; to plunge into chaos. 3. Absolute, unmitigated disaster of national or international proportions and consequence; policy failure so utterly abject and miserable as to approach the realm of the epic.

"Although long considered to be a costly and murderous fiasco, the prisoner abuse scandal revealed the war in Iraq to be nothing short of a rumsfailure."

¶ 14:54 0 Comments

"There is a special place reserved in elitists' hell for McMansions and their owners. These fancy new double-storey project houses in the outer suburbs have always held sneer value for those wealthy or infecund enough to live in the established inner suburbs."

"There is a special place in hell for McMansions and their owners. These fancy new double-storey project houses in the outer suburbs have always held sneer value for those wealthy or infecund enough to live in the established inner suburbs."

¶ 10:03 1 Comments

"Republican Party officials in Ohio took formal steps yesterday to place thousands of recruits inside polling places on Election Day to challenge the qualifications of voters they suspect are not eligible to cast ballots."

¶ 08:34 0 Comments

"A nurse was a mess from copping verbal abuse from an addict recently," Ms Carrigan said, "And other nurses were recently threatened by a psychiatric patient and the fall-out from that was horrendous."

¶ 07:05 0 Comments

Second garden bed now de-weeded, composted, mulched and ready for the planting - along with the first garden bed - of these seedlings when the sun goes down:

1. Strawberry, Sweetheart
2. Strawberry, Sweetheart
3. Tomato, Roma
4. Tomato, Sweet Bite
5. Capsicum, Yolo Wonder
6. Silverbeet, Green
7. Californian Poppies, Mixed Colours
8. Cosmos, Orange
9. Celosia, Mixed Oranges

¶ 12:43 0 Comments

First garden bed now ready to be planted when the sun goes down this evening. It has been filled with delicious compost, the rain from the past week has nourished it and now it has been covered with a layer of mulch. A list of seedlings to be planted follows planting.

Now it's off to that garage sale I spotted whilst going to get the seedlings. And then maybe it's off to that op shop I spied earlier in the week. And then... bloody hell, I've got broadband now, I can do anything!

¶ 09:13 0 Comments

Bashed because "We're from Melbourne and look different.".

The lads from Melbourne obviously haven't spied Ms Marsha Majora about the traps - she'd protect them, with her magical faerie hammer, from those vicious poofter bashers.

¶ 09:13 0 Comments

What a day!

The garden beds would have soaked up the tremendous amount of water we've received this week and the compost and mulch are ready and rearing to go - as am I, obviously.

Good day to you, too!

¶ 04:59 0 Comments

Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?

A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.

¶ 12:50 0 Comments

I am absolutely bloody sick of receiving chain emails. The most recent example of this was the Tommy Hilfiger & Oprah scenario.

I'm so over it I've BlogRolled BreakTheChain.org.

¶ 15:54 0 Comments

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¶ 07:33 0 Comments

ShopShopShopping

1. wood and leather satchel
2. citronella garden candles (1 orange, 1 green)
3. crystal growing trees (2)
4. flesh for tomorrow's dinner
5. wire for picture hanging (still no picture rail hooks)

¶ 15:43 0 Comments

"I think they regarded him in a statesman-like way in this election," noted Bronwyn, furtively hoping Johnny would read her latest missive and giver her the speakership.

I don't exepct anything from Johnny, furtive or otherwise, so I can honestly, compassionately and truthfully note, "In the most recent election I regarded him as an ingrown hair on the corn on the wart on the carbuncle on the mole on the turd at the bottom of the sea."

¶ 12:56 0 Comments

One can only hope the voting intentions of America are more along the lines of this than this.

Imagine if the NAACP, a group representing a marginalised constituency, ran a campaign along the lines of

¶ 09:53 0 Comments

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¶ 09:42 0 Comments

One of the few good things about the religious is that they come up with lists. Often, these lists contain at least 23 items. Here's one: 23. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

I'm wondering if Mrs. Johnson used to be Mr. Johnson and has had implants with a succesful phalloplasty. Considering the source, I kinda reckon she's probably a female-born-woman stuck in the duality gender/sex-role thing.

You get that.

¶ 13:45 0 Comments

---

---

This sock has now faded - with two years of wear - to be yellow enough to call it yellow. There is another like it. They made a pair. There are another two socks - these being red where the one above is yellow - that also made a pair.

Those who know me know that my colour spectrum ranges from orange and green through to blue and purple: in my book the only good thing about red and yellow is that together they make orange.

Silly, silly me - I was bringing the two pairs in from off the Hill's Hoist (the one in the new abode where I am actually allowed to make use of its potential to be wound up and down) - when it suddenly hit me {after two years - i.e. more than 23 months) that I now had two pairs of orange 23 socks.

How magnificent.

---

Try reading the text above aloud and get the colours as they are written correct first go.

Go on.
Just another one of those instances when the visually impaired have a better chance of success than the visually paired. Woo hoo!

¶ 19:33 1 Comments

The SPAM this link below every post will be removed in the next 23 hours though I shall leave an email contact somewhere on the site should someone/something other than a SPAMbot actually wish to contact me.

I'm hoping the SPAM continues to accumulate for yonks.

How long will it take to get 1,000MB of SPAM?
Inquiring minds need to know.

Labels: spam

¶ 08:22 0 Comments

'Tis a pity he didn't make that prayer last Friday - or really, really early Saturday.

¶ 13:19 0 Comments

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¶ 20:40 0 Comments

One last pre-Federal Erection Calling a spade a bloody shovel post:

¶ 20:13 1 Comments

What's the world coming to when radical groups like NAP NT advocate that drug users - one of the most marginalised groups in any society - do not vote in tomorrow's election whilst at the same time the Christian right make it bloody clear they'd prefer drug users didn't have the right to vote in documents like these.

Two peas, one pod?

---

Vote Green, preference Labor put HoWARd last.

¶ 13:31 0 Comments

The Oz Federal Erection is in two days: make your vote count - it's a responsiblity not just a right.

Vote Green, preferance Labor put Howard last!

¶ 16:46 0 Comments

Ick, egad and all that.

¶ 09:35 1 Comments

Wake up to yourself, Lindy, the stains on the NT go much, much deeper than you little worries.

¶ 08:57 0 Comments

1. Are there laws similar to four legged companion laws for the mistreatment of finned companion animals? Why haven't you been charged?
2. Are you aware of the difference between a clip and a mangle for four legged companions?
3. Are you aware that using large amounts of cheap product(s) is more expensive than appropriate amounts of quality products
4. Are you aware that Friendship Road is a two way street?
5. Are you aware that seeing your smelly smalls around the house is quite off putting when one is feeling nauseous?
6. Are you certain that finned companions reckon plastic tubing is a slippery dip to be enjoyed regularly?
7. Are you really that bitter that you fail to discern the that orange is not good in and of itself?
8. Are you aware?
9. Are you certain?
10. Are you?
11. Really?
12. Are you aware that when I did a load of washing at my new home this past Sunday, my clothes - upon being taken out of their gorgeous orange hamper (I'm surprised you didn't try to claim that...) smelled exactly of your four-legged companions?
13. Are you so sure there is a difference between abuse when it is viewed outside your front window than when it is viewed at a distance?
14. Are you certain?
15. Are you?
16. Really?
17. Are you aware that the aphorism "Bad artists borrow, good artists steal" applies to art not chairs?
18. Are you cognisant of the enormous smile that crossed my gob as I witnessed a cockroach crawling across your toothbrush whilst smiling on the inside as I have a toothbrush protector for mine?
19. Are you certain?
20. Are you?
21. All the time?
22. Are you aware that although I told you about the woman laughing at your companion animals after the clipping and that I responded "They're not my dogs", I didn't then tell you that her response was, "Yeah, I know, he's the one with the big boofhead": not just boofhead, but big boofhead.
23. Are you aware that this rant has been an incredibly positive exercise in CBT? Byjeeeeesus it was good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

¶ 22:53 0 Comments

Eyes tested today: multifocals on the way. Thank the being that isn't for private health insurance. I'd do without the 30% rebate to get rid of Howard: easy peasy lemon squeezy.

¶ 13:36 0 Comments

23. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

¶ 13:23 0 Comments

By calling a spade a bloody shovel, pornography is redeemed and child sexual abuse imagery is portrayed as it is: vile

¶ 08:43 0 Comments

Op-shopping was wet enough so I'm wondering if the young liberals be keen enough to weather the rain and tear down more signs this evening?

Cable television is just more and more of the same shit so why is the SciFi weekend thing never happening when I have access to cable?

Coffee with (cow) milk and one sugar in the mornings, black and bitter in the afternons (when required), cups of tea thereafter so what if it's raining?

I made purchases at the op-shop so why haven't I examined said purchases?

I've almost finished my first cup of Russian Caravan for the day so I'll examine those purchases soon.

¶ 13:17 0 Comments